It’s been a challenging few days. I’ve felt stretched to my limit as a mother, and yet I’ve managed to face things in creative ways that I can only attribute to some combination of time, experience, support, and wry humor. I’m thinking more about the consequences for the choices Daughter makes before reacting; I may be angry, and she may know it, but I’m keeping my distance and thinking before laying down the law.
Her father and I talked about some of what she’s been doing over the phone, and her behaviors are often unfamiliar territory to me. She (Daughter’s father) admitted that there are patterns all too familiar to her; so at least I know who to blame, right? 😉
It’s really amazing how alike they are in some ways, despite Daughter not having lived with her father for the majority of her life. They only reconnected a little more than a year ago, yet . . . *sighs* There are positives and negatives, and I’m exhausted.
But I can feel good about my own actions and choices, and I can praise my daughter for getting her schoolwork done in record time. It took her less than ninety minutes to do her day’s schoolwork, with the exception of our shared project (learning from Doodle Math videos by Vi Hart on YouTube.com).
Today is the new moon, and with it comes another healthy addition to my daily routine. Along with my water, vitamins, and daily photo (I forgot yesterday’s! Yipe!), I will now also be stretching every day and doing one of the following each day: morning grounding, afternoon/evening meditation, or shamanic journey. In May, I might add “dancing to connect with Spirit” as part of the spiritual rotation. I get to choose what feels right to me each day, but it’s usually best to not journey more than once a week, unless one is providing service to others.
Today I followed through on all of it. I awoke remembering what day it was. I also awoke incredibly sore and exhausted, but I did morning grounding in bed (with a 22 lb. cat trying to sit on my chest, no less), I took three deep breaths afterwards, and no longer felt quite as sore. I got up, dealt with morning hygiene, ate a banana with a spoonful of peanut butter, had a cup of pumpkin spice tea, and took my vitamins. Later in the day, I was already halfway through my water quota when I took my daily photo and just before my writing session with my co-author/Daughter’s father, I stretched my legs, arms, and back for 10 minutes. I used a combination of moves I learned from yoga, quigong, and dance classes, and felt a little better than when I’d started.
So, this new year and new moon are off to a shaky start, but at least I feel confident that I’m doing my best most days, even when I’ve been handed few too many spoons.